


“I Miss My Lover, Man”

by sightlydepressedmelon



Category: Marvel
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Freeform, Kisses, M/M, MJ is a pal, Peter Parker Has Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 22:55:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30046056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sightlydepressedmelon/pseuds/sightlydepressedmelon
Summary: Peter misses Johnny, a lot.
Relationships: MJ & Peter Parker, Peter Parker/Johnny Storm
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	“I Miss My Lover, Man”

**Author's Note:**

> Based off the song “Mr.Loverman” by Ricky Montgomery

_I'm headed straight for the floor_   
_The alcohol served its tour_   
_And it's headed straight for my skin_   
_Leaving me daft and dim_

Peter’s head was spinning. He could barely stand up straight anymore. The combination of alcohol, sweating bodies, flashing lights, and loud music would be enough to mess with anyone’s head but his enhanced senses were making it literal hell. 

He never went out to clubs like this, and now he remembered why. Curse MJ for bringing him here. She was too damn persuasive. 

~

“MJ, I told you already, I don’t wanna go to your stupid club, I’ve got enough going on as is”, he said, stepping around her to get into his bedroom. 

She walked in after him, stopping in the doorway. “C’mon Tiger, you need to get your mind off of him. It’ll be fun! Nothing like half-decent alcohol and a night out to help you forget for a little bit.”

Peter sighed, he knew there was no beating MJ when she had her mindset on something. “Fine. I’ll go, but you are not convincing me to drink that guava crap again, understood?”

“Yes! I knew you’d give in!” MJ jumped for joy before going to hug him, “Now come on, you need to get ready.”

“Why can’t I just go in this?” Peter asked. MJ laughed at him and dragged him over to the closet. She was lucky he loved her.

~

There was no denying MJ was right, unfortunately. All the drinks and dancing had definitely helped get his mind off of The Johnny Situation, but it didn’t help him feel better. 

Peter stumbled out a door of the club before collapsing in the alley. It was much darker than when they’d entered the club and much cooler than inside the club. Peter took a few breaths and tried to calm down his, well everything. He felt like an idiot. What was he thinking, drinking that much, and going into the crowd after MJ, and staying here while Johnny was -

He felt tears building in his eyes. No, he wasn’t going to cry. Peter sat down against the wall, took a deep breath, and attempted to ground himself. Not an easy task in his current state, but he managed to at least stop the tears from surfacing. So that was a win. 

The door beside him opened. “There you are Tiger,” MJ said smiling. Peter looked up at her. She was glowing, as usual, the alcohol and sensory overload didn’t seem to be impacting her at all. Stupid supermodels. “Oh honey,” she sat next to him, and her smile softened. 

Peter laughed lightly, “That obvious huh.”

“Just a bit.” She put her arm around him and they just sat there in the alley for a minute. “Sorry for bringing you here, I know it’s not your scene.”

“Don’t be sorry, you were right.”

“Oh my goodness, you are drunk.”

“Shut up MJ,” they both laughed. 

She stood up and offered him a hand, “Let’s get you home”.

_I've got this shake in my legs_   
_Shaking the thoughts from my head_   
_But who put these waves in the door?_   
_I crack and out I pour_

Peter flew backward through a window and felt glass shatter across his back. Great, just great. He stood up and brushed and evaluated where he’s crashed, a conference room. His entrance had sent papers flying everywhere and broken a chair. Hopefully whatever company worked here didn’t freak out about that, he really didn’t need more fuel to add to the Bugle’s fire. 

“Seriously Norman! Not cool man,” he shouted out the broken window, “I just replaced the suit, no consideration.”

“Do you ever shut up Spider-Man?” Norman replied angrily.

“Doubtful, but you’re welcome to keep trying”.

Green Goblin lunged at him but Peter sidestepped easily, sending Norman straight into the giant table at the center of the room. Peter webbed him to the table before perching on the ceiling. 

“Not the method I would’ve gone for but, keep trying man. Or don’t! I’ve got better things to do than fighting you again.”

He swung out of the building and could hear Norman cursing him as he left. Peter headed straight back to his apartment and climbed through his bedroom window. Peter stripped out of the suit and went to the bathroom to assess the damage from the battle. He flipped on the light and looked in the mirror, his back was covered in little scratches from the glass and there were bruises on his sides, but other than that not too bad. He got the first aid kit out of the cupboard and got to work. 

His phone buzzed on the counter, he picked it up to see a new story from the Bugle; “Green Goblin Escapes After Spider-Man Leaves Battle Too Soon”. Peter inhales sharply, Norman had escaped, and it was his fault. Not in the usual way where it wasn’t his fault but the Bugle was trying to make it seem like it was, it was actually his fault. Peter had let Norman escape, oh god.

Peter felt his body shaking and he tried to stop it, but his brain wouldn’t shut up. It was his fault, people were endangered because he’d made a stupid mistake. God, what was he thinking? Peter shut his eyes and did everything he could to stop the panic. He was shaking so much. The thoughts wouldn’t stop, it was too much, too damn much. 

~

“Babe, I need you to breathe for me okay. Deep breath in, good, good, just like that. Breathe out. Good job. Breathe in. Out.”

Johnny’s voice broke through, Peter focused on his voice as best as he could. 

“Keep breathing babe, it’s okay.” Johnny grabbed his hand and put it on his chest. “You feel my breathing Pete?” Peter managed to nod, “Breathe with me, okay? In, out. In, out.”

They continue like this until Peter’s breath was even again. Johnny reached out and wiped tears off of his face, Peter closed his eyes and sighed. His brain suddenly felt so empty. He leaned into Johnny’s soft touch. 

“Johnny?” he whispered. 

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

Johnny hugged him close and placed a light kiss on Peter’s forehead. Anxiety attacks were hell, but at least he had Johnny. 

~

The world starts to blur, tears making everything look wavy. Peter braced himself against the counter as the tears started to stream down his face. Every single one hurts him. They reminded him of things he’d buried deep inside. He’s completely alone, no one to wipe away the tears or remind him to breathe. Only the cracks in his mind and the tears pouring out. 

_I’m Mr. Loverman_   
_And I miss my lover, man_   
_I'm Mr. Loverman_   
_Oh and I miss my lover_

MJ and Peter always got coffee together on Fridays before Peter’s Advanced Physics class. Despite typically being horribly late for everything Peter managed to arrive on time this week. MJ looked mildly surprised as she passed him his coffee and they started walking. 

“You’re on time. I would say the world is ending but with you, that would have the opposite effect,” MJ mused. 

“Very funny MJ. If modeling stops working out you should become a comedian.”

“Maybe I should”. They walked for a bit and MJ told Peter about a modeling gig she had coming up. He was happy to see her so excited. As they got closer to campus MJ switched topics, “How you doing Tiger?”

“You asking honestly or conversationally?”

She paused and gave him a skeptical look, “Honestly, ” she answered. 

Peter sighed and drank some of his coffee. His voice was quiet when he finally spoke, “I miss him, MJ. I miss him so much. I didn’t think it would be this bad, but it’s horrible. It hurts to know I could be-” his voice wavered, “but instead I'm here, and he’s gone, and it's my fault. I miss him. I really miss him”. 

MJ didn't speak for a moment, she had the same soft smile on her face she’d had at the club. “I’m sorry Peter, ” she said, “You don’t need me to tell you that missing someone is the worst. You know that better than I do. Better than anyone should”. They paused at a crosswalk, as they waited for it to change MJ turned to face him. “Can I give you some advice?”

“Always, ” he responded.

“Call him, ” her voice was firmer now, “You don’t have to miss him as much as you do.” She began crossing the street and Peter raced to catch up. 

“MJ what if-“

“Just call him, okay?” She replied. “I have to go, good luck with your lab.”

He gave her a hug, MJ began to walk away, she stopped and turned around after a few steps and shouted, “Call him!”

Peter sighed and shook his head before heading to class (where he crushed his lab, thank you very much). As he walked to the Library after class he thought about what MJ said. Peter stopped to sit on a bench and pulled out his phone. 

He started at Johnny’s contact, his finger hovering over the call button in anticipation, but he couldn’t do it. Instead, he went to his photos and scrolled through his large collection of pictures of Johnny. 

As much as Peter made fun of Johnny for his perfect hair, teen heartthrob face, and toned body, he loved taking pictures of him. He couldn’t really blame himself, Johnny Storm was gorgeous. Everything about him was absolutely stunning. Peter could talk about his eyes alone for ages. He did once, much to MJ’s dismay. 

Peter stopped when he came across one of his favorite pictures. It was of Johnny standing on the ceiling of Peter’s apartment. His eyes were crinkled up from laughing and his perfect hair was hanging down at odd angles. He was wearing a pair of Peter’s sweatpants and no shirt because he “ran hot”. Not that Peter would ever complain. 

~

“I just wanna see what it’s like for you!” Jonny exclaimed, standing next to the bed, already wide awake. 

“Couldn’t you just Flame-On and then fly upside down? Or wrap your legs around some monkey bars? Why do I have to be involved?” Peter replied, still in bed because it was 9 am on Saturday and he, unlike his boyfriend, wasn’t insane. 

“It’s not the same babe and you know that,” Johnny pouted. 

“I’m not doing it,” he said flatly. 

Johnny scowled at him, but then Peter saw something change I his eyes. Johnny climbed on top of the covers next to Peter and began kissing his neck. Peter knew exactly what Johnny was doing, but so did Johnny’s lips. 

They moved up Peter’s neck, kissing every inch, “Really Peter?” Johnny moved his lips higher, “I can be very,” he kissed Peter’s jaw “convincing,” and then just below Peter’s ear. Peter groaned and Johnny smiled, clearly knowing he’d won. 

“Fine! I’ll do it,” he pushed Johnny away. Johnny practically squealed, Peter rolled his eyes. 

Peter got out of bed and grabbed his web shooter. He jumped onto the ceiling and held a hand out for Johnny. He pulled him up and then after some awkward adjustments for Johnny, placed one of Johnny’s feet on the ceiling and webbed it in place, then the other. Peter hopped off the ceiling and back onto the floor. 

“Happy now Flame Brain?” Peter asked, crossing his arms.

“Very. How do my abs look from this angle? Even more stunning than usual?”

Peter rolled his eyes and walked to the bedside table, “You are ridiculous Johnathan Storm, absolutely ridiculous.” He picked up his phone to see if Aunt May was back from work yet. 

“I didn’t hear an answer,” Johnny replied smugly.

Peter looked up, “I’m gonna leave you for Deadpool, ” he said bluntly, “He doesn’t try to fish for compliments from me, he’s got more than enough confidence all on his own.”

Johnny laughed and Peter couldn’t help but smile. He turned and snapped a picture and then climbed onto the bed to give his boyfriend a kiss. 

“I’m definitely a better kisser than Deadpool,” Johnny said when they broke apart. 

“Only one way to be sure,” Peter said before stepping off the bed and leaving the room. 

“Peter! Pete! Where are you going?” Johnny shouted after him? “If you go kiss Deadpool, I swear to god! Peter come get me down!” 

Peter laughed from the other room as he started making himself some coffee, while Johnny continued his protests. 

~

Peter smiled at the photo, remembering all of it so fondly. He went back to Johnny’s contact and pressed the call button before he could chicken out. 

A chipper voice filled Peter’s ear, “Hey! It’s Johnny I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m probably busy being awesome. Leave a message and I’ll call you back later, bye!”

Peter took a deep breath as the voicemail tone beeped, “Johnny, it’s me. I miss you, a lot. I'm sorry. Please call me, okay?” He hesitated, “I love you”.

_The ways in which you talk to me_   
_Have me wishin' I were gone_   
_The ways that you say my name_   
_Have me runnin' on and on_

It had been one week since Peter left Johnny the voicemail. Johnny called him back that night and they talked for hours. Johnny updated Peter on the mission he was on with the Four and Peter told him about school and patrol as Spidey. They talked almost every day since then when Johnny wasn’t busy with the mission. 

Peter was swinging through the city near the end of his patrol when his phone rang. He answered, “Hello!”

“Hey babe,” Johnny’s voice responded, “watcha doing?”

“Finishing up patrol. How’s the mission?”

“It’s good, Reed seems hopeful about some intel we gathered today but I zoned out when he started explains it.”

“Of course you did Flame Brain,” Peter landed on top of a building near with a billboard on it. He sat on the edge of the board and looked out over the city. “It’s a shame really if you zoned out it probably means I would’ve found it interesting.”

“Ouch Pete. That hurts,” Johnny said flatly. 

“Shame you love me,” Peter responded. 

“Yeah, a real shame.” Even though he couldn’t see him, Peter could tell that Johnny was smiling just as big as he was. “How was patrol?” Johnny asked. 

“It was good! I stoped 3 muggings, helped a little girl find her parents, and Rhino decided to take a night off from bothering me so I got to follow a lead on a potential hideout for some other bad guys. There wasn’t any action there tonight but it seems promising”.

“That awesome babe. Kick his ass for me when you catch him, okay?”

Peter laughed, “I’ll kick his ass so good, just for you.”

“You ruined it Peter, absolutely ruined it,” said Johnny, laughing lightly. 

Peter smiled and neither of them said anything for a minute. “I miss you, Johnny.”

“Me too. At least we can talk, that way you only have to miss my gorgeous body.”

Peter rolled his eyes and groaned, “I hate you,” he grumbled. 

“Nah, I’ve saved your ass too many times for you to hate me. “ 

“Shut up Flame Brain.”

“You only say that because you know it’s true.”

“No comment.”

There was silence again, but it was good silence. The peaceful kind where everything feels right. There’s no anticipation or worry buried beneath it, just content. Everything feels right, even in the nothingness. 

“Do you know when you’ll be back yet?” Peter asked. 

“In New York? No clue, at least a few more weeks. But I’ll be back on Earth this weekend. Reed needs to run some test and he didn’t have the equipment, so we’re going to some lame research institution.”

“You’ll be on Earth this weekend?” Peter asked excitedly. 

“Yeah, but in D.C. and you've got your exams coming up”.

“Still, it’ll be nice to know you’re on the same planet as me,” Peter said wistfully. 

“I love you, Peter Parker”.

Emotion poured out of every syllable as Johnny spoke and Peter felt as if he were melting instantly. It was just his name, the same boring name he’d had his whole life. It was nothing special at all. But when Johnny said it, it felt like something spectacular. Like fireworks on the fourth of July or snowfall on Christmas. His name on Johnny’s lips was the most amazing thing in the galaxy. 

He looked up at the New York sky and thought of Johnny; how much he loved him and missed him, and how lucky he was to have him. There was no way Peter was gonna let Johnny return to Earth without seeing him, not when Johnny said his name like that. 

Peter’s grin was enormous, “I love you Jonathan Storm”. 

_Oh, I'm cramping up_   
_I'm cramping up_   
_But you're cracking up_   
_You're cracking up_

The universe hated Peter Parker. Even when he was trying to do something nice for his boyfriend by going to see him when he was back on Earth for the first time in ages, the universe hated him. Peter had planned to catch the last bus to D.C. on Friday night so he could go study and go on patrol for a bit beforehand. After an aggravating chase after a bank robber, some issues with the cops responding to the robbery, and a mugger who just wouldn’t give up, Peter checked his phone and realized he had completely missed his bus. 

“Shit,” he muttered to himself “great job Parker”. Peter contemplated his situation before, probably too quickly, coming to a solution and swinging south. He was sure there was a much more logical decision he could have made but his post-patrol brain didn’t bother to think too hard. So he was swinging to D.C. 

He used his webs for as long as he could but when the landscape became less and less urban he was starting to run out of luck and stamina. Peter landed on top of a semi merging onto the highway and tried to catch his breath, guess this is one way to find out just how strong his increased endurance is. He laid down and grabbed his side. Stupid side stitch. Stupid arm cramps. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Peter groaned in pain, as long as this truck kept driving south he could stay here for a while. That would be nice. 

He arrived in D.C. just before dawn. He’d switched semis serval times throughout the night until his strength was back and the landscape favored his powers a bit more. When he finally arrived at the address he’d gotten from Sue he was exhausted again, but it didn’t matter. He was going to get to see Johnny. 

Peter tapped on the window and waited. A few seconds later it opened to reveal the face of a very confused Johnny Storm. God, He was beautiful. Peter smiled like an idiot under his mask. Johnny was wearing those stupid knock-off Fantastic Four pajama pants Peter had given him as a joke two Christmases ago, and of course no shirt. Oh, how Peter had missed that idiot. 

“Peter?” Johnny asked. 

“No, it’s Deadpool,” he replied. Johnny smacked his arm, yeah he deserves that. 

“What the hell are you doing here? When, what, how-“

“Don’t think too hard about it babe, your brain might explode,” Peter mused “Now you gonna let me in or what?” Johnny pulled him into the room and closed the window behind them. Peter ripped off his mask and smiled. “Happy to see me Flame Brain?”

“How are you here?”

“Well I begged Sue for the address and then I bought a bus ticket down here, but I missed my bus because the universe hates me, so I swung here instead”.

Johnny gaped, “You swung from New York to D.C.?”

Peter nodded, “Yeah, and it gave me one hell of a side stitch so you better stop asking stupid questions and start appreciating my presence”.

Johnny bust out laughing, Peter was pretty sure he saw tears in the corner of his eyes. Johnny sat down on his bed and laughed some more. Peter crossed his arms disappointedly and scowled.

“I swing halfway across the East Coast for you and you’re gonna laugh at me?” 

“No, no, no,” Johnny said between laughs. He tried unsuccessfully to catch his breath, “For a genius, you can be such an idiot. Come here,” he held out his arms and Peter went to him, still scowling a bit. 

They laid together on top of the covers wrapped in each other’s arms for a while. Peter’s head beneath Johnny’s, resting on his chest. He breathed in Johnny, a smell he’d missed for too long. Peter sighed as Johnny ran his fingers through Peter’s hair, and smiled. 

“You know,” Johnny started “You could’ve just waited to take the morning bus or something.”

“Shut up Flame Brain.”

“Make me Web-Head.”

Peter tilted his head up towards Johnny’s and kissed him; long, slow and sweet. He cherished every second until they fell asleep. 

  
_I'm Mr. Loverman_   
_And I miss my lover, man_   
_I’m Mr. Loverman_   
_Oh, and I miss my lover_

  
Over that weekend Peter and Johnny are nearly inseparable. Johnny narrowly managed to avoid missing a few hours with his boyfriend when Reed started talking to Peter about some of the research he was doing the morning after his arrival. Johnny and Peter walked around D.C. together and kissed in front of national monuments, just to screw it to the almost-definitely-homophobic founding fathers. They ate ice cream together and Peter laughed at Johnny’s horrible ability to keep his ice cream from melting all over his hand. They watched movies together and cuddled in Johnny’s bed. Johnny helped Peter review for his exams. They talked and listened and only made out a little bit, maybe a tad more than a little bit. They existed together, in the same space, for a whole weekend; and that was what mattered most of all. 

On Sunday Afternoon Johnny walked Peter to the bus station, to make sure he would actually get on a bus this time. As they walked Johnny absentmindedly rubbed circles onto the back of Peter’s hand. 

“I wish we didn’t have to go,” said Peter wistfully. 

Johnny squeezed his hand, “Me too. But you have to get back for your exams and our mission is resuming soon”.

“Yeah,” Peter sighed.

Johnny stopped walking and turned to Peter. “Hey,” he put his free hand on Peter’s face “don’t do that. Don’t go making yourself sad about this, okay?” Peter nodded and hugged Johnny tight. 

“I'm gonna miss you, ” he said into the taller boy’s chest.

Johnny kissed his hair, “We had this weekend and even though it sucks that it's ending like really sucks, it was still something”. They broke apart and Johnny smiled at him, “You’re gonna go back to New York and kick-ass on your exam’s and I’m gonna go back to the Four and kick-ass on my mission. Then when I get back, for good, I’m gonna kiss you until you can’t breathe.”

“Exams aren’t really something you can kick ass at Johnny.”

Johnny groaned and started walking again, “Really? That’s what you took away from that? I just gave a great speech full of love and motivation and that’s what you took away from it? Unbelievable. You are truly unbelievable Peter Parker.” 

Peter laughed and leaned against Johnny as they walked. They went together hand and hand, smiling like idiots until they got to the station. They stopped outside and turned to face each other. Peter looked up at Johnny as smiled bittersweet. He soaked in every detail of his face before he had to leave. The bright blue of his eyes, the curve of his cheekbones, his beautiful lips, and his sharp jaw. Peter tried to commit all of it to memory. 

Peter gave Johnny a quick kiss, “Kick ass and stay safe okay?” 

“You too,” Johnny said. Peter opened his mouth, “don’t you dare ruin this with your technicalities Parker.”

Peter laughed and pulled Johnny in tight. Peter didn’t know if he believed in soul mates, but he knew that Johnny and Peter fit together perfectly. 

Johnny kissed his temple, “Bye,” he whispered. 

“Bye, I love you,” Peter responded. 

“I love you too”.

Peter turned and walked into the station, onto the bus, and into his seat. He looked out the window as the bus pulled out of the station, already missing Johnny. 

He went back to school on Monday and Johnny went back to his mission. Although Peter would never admit it to Johnny, he kicked ass on his exams. They texted throughout the week and they called when they could. Two weeks later Johnny updated Peter on the mission. The Fantastic Four had a huge lead with their and if everything went well they’d be able to come home in a few days, but Johnny wouldn’t be able to keep in touch until it was over. Peter wished him luck and told him not to be stupid. Then he waited. 

And waited. 

And waited. 

Four days passed, Peter reminded himself that four days could count as a few days. 

Two more days, MJ told him he was being dumb and reminded him not to worry. 

A week. Peter missed Johnny like crazy and was starting to freak out, MJ no longer chastised him for it. 

A week and a half. Nothing. 

_I've shattered now, I'm spilling out_   
_Upon this linoleum ground (Mr. Loverman)_   
_I'm reeling in my brain again_   
_Before it can get back to you (Mr. Loverman)_   
_Oh, what am I supposed to do without you?_

Peter rolled over in bed to check the time. Four-thirty am, ew. As much as he hated it he knew there was no way he was going back to sleep. He climbed out of bed and walked to the kitchen to get some water. 

He flicked on the lights and grabbed a glass from the cupboard. As he passed the fridge he saw a photo he’d put up a few weeks ago. It was a picture of him and Johnny in D.C. sitting so close together their shoulders were touching, laughing at something. Peter didn’t know who took it, probably Sue, but Johnny had sent it to him and Peter loved it so much he’d printed it out and hung it on the fridge. Like it was some crappy artwork a kindergartner had given to him. It was a great photo. It used to bring him joy, but now it did anything but. 

The glass fell out of Peter’s hand as his gaze fell upon it. It shattered instantly upon hitting the floor. Peter’s felt his mind racing but tried to push through. He went to clean up the shattered glass, ignoring the pain in his mind. He swept it up with a towel until a shard cut his hand. Peter broke. He collapsed onto the ground and sobbed. His blood spilled down his arm and onto the floor next to the glass. Every worry and fear and anxious thought he’d been pushing down for the last two weeks exploded out of him and he couldn’t move. He thought it had hurt when Johnny left the first time, but this was so much worse. There was nothing except the pure unfiltered panic, his blood, and tears. 

Peter didn’t know how long he stayed like that before he heard knocking on the door. His brain briefly registered someone talking, but he was so buried in pain he couldn’t tell what they were saying. The door opening sounded like it was a million miles away. He heard footsteps coming closer. Then Peter saw MJ kneeling beside him. 

“Hey Tiger,” she said softly. MJ looked him over and opened her arms. Peter put what little energy he had into crawling into her embrace. She held him as he cried on her shoulder. Neither of them said anything for a while until Peter’s tears started to slow and the pain became a little bit smaller. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” MJ asked, breaking the silence. Peter shook his head, “Okay. We don’t have to talk. But can we get up off your dirty floor at least?”

Peter let out a small laugh and nodded. MJ helped him stand and they walked over to his couch. MJ complained about that couch all the time. She thought it was too old and dirty and repeatedly told him it clashed with everything else in his apartment. But, right now that didn’t seem to matter. They sat together and she held Peter as he tried not to sink too deep into his thoughts. 

Thoughts of Johnny; exploded in space, stabbed and bleeding out from a fight, suffocating, injured, captured, tortured beyond recognition, or lying dead in a casket. A thousand different possibilities reeling in his brain, demanding a chance to torture his psyche next. 

No matter what he tried, he couldn’t get his thoughts back to a Johnny that was alive and unharmed. A Johnny that was happy. Every Johnny in his brain was calling out to Peter to save him or was empty of the person that Peter loved. And there was nothing that Peter could do. 

Minutes or hours later Peter broke the silence, “What if he’s gone MJ? What am I supposed to do? I can’t even get myself a glass of water without falling apart. How am I supposed to function if he’s really gone? How do I keep going, how-“ his voice shaking and barely audible. “I can’t do this without him, MJ. I can’t”.

MJ was silent for a moment, thinking about what he’d said. She wiped a tear from his face. Softly and confidently, she spoke, “You are one of the strongest people I know, Peter. Not just because you’re a superhero. You are strong in the ways it really matters, you always have been. I know you don’t believe that, but the people who care about you do. I know that May knows that and Johnny knows that. You are strong enough to get through whatever comes your way. You got that?” Peter nodded. “Good. Now get some sleep Tiger,” MJ said. 

“Stay with me?” he asked quietly. 

“Of course,” she responded. Peter slowly drifted off in MJ’s embrace. 

_I'm Mr. Loverman_   
_And I miss my lover, man (I miss my lover)_   
_I'm Mr. Loverman (oh-oh)_   
_Oh, and I miss my lover (Mr. Loverman)_

It had been two and a half weeks since Peter had heard anything from Johnny. MJ was a godsend and had prevented him from spiraling too much over the past few days. Unfortunately, she had to go out of town this weekend. MJ insisted that Peter went to Aunt May’s house.

~

“I don’t want to get a phone call from your landlord saying they found you dead in your kitchen”.

“Hey!” Peter protested, “That’s not gonna happen”.

“I’m not taking that risk,” she said sternly. “Go spend the weekend with May, she’ll be happy to see you. Plus it’ll be good for you to be around her”.

~

He took a bus to May’s neighborhood after class got out on Friday and walked through the familiar streets to her house. He smiled as he saw her little house, falling apart in some places but full of charm. He knocked on the front door and it immediately swung open to reveal the smiling face of his Aunt. 

“Hi, baby! It’s so good to see you!” She brought him into a crushing hug. 

“Ow, May! My ribs. It’s good to see you too,” Peter replied, gasping for air a little bit. 

May released him and lead him inside. “Get in here! It’s been too long since I’ve seen my favorite nephew”.

“I’m your only nephew, May,” he said, following her to the kitchen.

“Well isn’t that convenient,” she mused. 

Peter and May ate dinner together and talked about school and work, and avoided talking about Johnny. They played a game of scrabble, in which she destroyed him. Then they sat down on May’s squishy sofa, one that MJ approved of, to watch Star Wars. 

Peter had done a pretty good job of not thinking about Johnny so far, but Star Wars ended up being the thing to end that streak. It led his mind right back to Johnny. 

~

“Peter we’ve watched this movie a thousand times!” Johnny complained. 

“Bull crap. There’s no way we’ve watched it more than six,” Peter exclaimed. “Regardless, you told me I could pick. So deal with it, Flame Brain”.

“Because I wrongly assumed you’d pick something good”.

Peter gasped, “How dare you, Johnathan Storm”. Johnny rolled his eyes at Peter. “It is a classic!”

“So’s Gone With The Wind, but I don’t know anyone aching to watch that on date night.”

“Fine. What do you think we should watch?” Peter demanded, crossing his arms. 

“Fast and Furious,” Johnny replied. 

“Unbelievable. You can’t complain about how much we watch Star Wars and then suggest Fast and Furious! I cannot believe you”. Peter looked up to see Johnny smiling a him “What’s your face for?”

“You’re adored when you’re mad at me,” Johnny said, walking closer to Peter. “Kinda hot too,” he put his hands on Peter’s waist. 

“Well you would know all about that, wouldn’t you, Mr.Storm,” Peter replied smugly as he wrapped his arms around Johnny’s neck. 

Johnny sighed, “Shut up and kiss me WebHead”.

“So bossy,” Peter said, before closing the space between them. Peter felt Johnny smile into the kiss and couldn’t help but adopt a smile of his own. When they pulled apart, Peter spoke first. “I’ll make out with you right now if you let me pick Star Wars”.

Johnny looked at him skeptically before responding, “Take off your shirt and we’ve got a deal”.

“How ‘bout you take it off for me,” as the words fell from his lips, Peter swore he could see his boyfriend slowly melt into a puddle.

~

“Earth to Peter”. May’s voice brought Peter back to reality. 

“What?” Peter asked confused. He turned to look at Aunt May. 

“I’ve called your name a bunch, you’re always excited to see John Solo. Are you okay, baby?”

“It’s Han Solo, May. We’ve been over this,” Peter smiled. “I’m okay, just lost in thought”.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure May”. She looked at him skeptically and then abruptly paused the movie and stood up. “What’s going on?” Peter asked. 

May grabbed her coat and put it on, before tossing Peter’s at him. “We’re going to get churros. I raised you and I can tell that you are not okay. We don’t have to talk about it, but you do have to eat churros”. Peter laughed and followed May out of the house. 

They walked to a place a few blocks over that May loved. She claimed they served the best churros in the whole city, so they went there a lot. She had taken Peter there for any occasion she could think of when he was growing up. When he won the science fair in 4th grade, churros. When he graduated top of his class from high school, churros. When they were both mourning Ben, more churros than they cared to admit. This place had a lot of memories for them. Very delicious memories. 

He walked side by side with May down the familiar path in comfortable silence. He barely noticed the world around him until they passed the flower shop next door to the churro place. In the window, a bouquet of orange roses caught Peter’s attention.

~

Peter slowly opened the door to Johnny’s room in the Baxter Building. It was dark and he could barely make out the form of Johnny buried beneath a large pile of blankets on his bed. Oh no. If “I run hot” Johnny Storm was under a pile of blankets, things were definitely not okay. Peter walked across the room and sat on the edge of the bed, right next to the mound. 

“Go away Peter, I don’t want to talk,” Johnny mumbled from beneath the blankets. 

“Good, because I don’t want to talk either,” Peter replied. “I had enough of that at work”.

Johnny’s head emerged from beneath the mound of blankets. “Then why are you here?” His voice sounded scratchy and Peter could see that his eyes were puffy. It broke his heart a little bit. 

“I’m your boyfriend, Storm. I care about you. No matter how stupid you’re being or what crap you’re going through”. There was silence for a moment. “Plus, if I didn’t come here I wouldn’t have anyone to give these flowers to,” Peter said as he placed a bouquet of orange roses next to Johnny. 

Johnny emerged from the blankets enough to sit up and grab the flowers. He looked at them, eyes soft and a hint of a smile appearing on his lips. “You remembered”.

“Of course I remembered, who else do I know that likes orange roses?”

Johnny rolled his eyes, “You were doing a good job at being a loving boyfriend for all of 2 minutes,” he said as he set the flowers on his nightstand. 

Peter laughed lightly, “Sorry babe, but my point stands”. Peter leaned over and kissed Johnny’s forehead. “I’m still your loving boyfriend, I’m here for you. We don’t have to talk, we can just cuddle under your absurdly large pile of blankets, okay?”

Johnny nodded, “Okay”.

Peter climbed into bed next to Johnny, who promptly leaned his head against Peter’s shoulder and grabbed his hand. Peter brought Johnny’s hands to his mouth and kissed each of his fingertips, one at a time. They sat together in silence, Peter heard Johnny start to cry quietly after a little bit. He pulled Johnny closer and ran his free hand through Johnny’s hair. Peter didn’t say a word, he just stayed there with him until the sadness left. 

~

Something poked Peter’s cheek, he turned to see Aunt May attacking him with a churro. “You gonna eat some of these churros or am I about to feel very bad later?” she asked jokingly. 

He took the churro from her hand, “Don’t you dare eat my churros. I’m suffering remember?”

May laughed at him as they walked over to a table outside the churro place. They are the churros and May smiled at him fondly. Peter looked up at the New York sky as he ate his last churro. As usual, there were not many stars visible, but he could make out Orion’s Belt. 

~

“That’s Orion’s Belt,” Peter said as he pointed to the sky. “It’s pretty easy to find, even with New York light pollution”.

“You’re such a nerd,” Johnny said in response. 

Peter scoffed, “Rude”. 

They were lying beside each other on top of the Statue of Liberty looking at the stars together. Johnny had even brought a blanket to their usual spot. Although he’d never admit it, Johnny was a hopeless romantic and he loved cliches. Peter had brought pizza, which Johnny claimed wasn’t romantic, but Peter couldn’t hear him over how delicious his pizza was. They looked at the stars together and watched planes fly overhead. Laughing and joking about stupid things they said. 

“Johnny,” Peter muttered quietly. 

He turned his head to look at Peter, “Yeah?”

“Can you tell me about space?” Johnny smiled and Peter could tell he was soaking in whatever expression Peter had on his face. He blushed and looked away, “You don’t have to -“

“No,” Johnny interrupted, grabbing Peter’s hand, “I’d love to”.

~

“You don’t have to keep it inside Peter,” May said softly. He looked at her confused, “You try to do that a lot, but it’s not always the best. Sometimes it’s better to get it out of your head. To feel our emotions, even if they hurt us. I know I said we didn’t have to talk, but I want you to tell me what you’re thinking about. If you’re comfortable”.

Peter gazed at May and remembered all the reasons he loved having her in his life. She was unbelievably kind and compassionate and so much more. Peter nodded, “I was just remembering something Johnny and I did once”.

“Tell me,” her voice was calm and loving. “I know you miss him. You don’t have to miss him alone”.

Peter told her every detail of the memory he could remember. She listened and laughed at the right moments and commented on little things in his story. She was a perfect audience, and at least for a little bit, the pain of missing Johnny felt a bit smaller. 

_I'm Mr. Loverman (oh-oh)_   
_And I miss my lover, man_   
_I'm Mr. Loverman_   
_And I miss my lover_

MJ and Peter were getting their usual Friday coffee. Peter’s advanced physics class had been canceled so they decided to walk around campus together until MJ had to go. The weather was perfect, which was great after almost a week of rain that MJ had jokingly said was a reflection of his mood. 

MJ stopped suddenly, “Crap”.

“What?” Peter asked, turning to face her. 

“I left my phone at the coffee place, can we go back?”

“Yeah of course,” he started walking back the way they came but MJ wasn’t following. He gave her a confused look. 

“Let’s go the other way. It’ll be good for you to walk through a different part of campus. Can’t spend all your time near the labs”.

“That was uncalled for,” Peter complained. 

“Oh well,” MJ started walking away from him and Peter ran to catch up. 

They were about halfway back to the coffee shop, cutting through a park-like area near the art buildings when Peter was the one to stop in his tracks. He looked across the field at someone leaning against a lamppost. He practically glowed in the sunlight, although that could’ve just been Peter’s imagination. He looked up and saw Peter. A huge smile spread across his face. 

“Go to him you idiot,” MJ said, shoving his arm. She seemed very proud of herself as she watched him walk away. 

They walked towards each other, Peter barely processed anything that was happening. They stopped with only about a foot between them. Peter looked at the person who stood before him, not entirely believing his eyes. 

“Is it really you? Are you real?” he asked quietly. 

“Yeah Web-Head, it’s me,” Johnny replied, smiling ear to ear. 

That’s all that Peter needed to hear. He closed the space between them instantly. Peter threw his arms around Johnny’s neck and kissed him with everything he had. Johnny laughed into the kiss before kissing Peter with the same emotion. The kiss was perfect, not a single person could dent that. When Peter ended the kiss he stepped back and smacked Johnny’s arm. 

“Ow!” Johnny complained. He rubbed his arm and gave Peter a dirty look. “What was that for?”

“You told me you’d be back in a few days, and then I didn’t hear from you for almost a month,” he smacked Johnny’s other arm. 

“Hey!” Johnny pouted and Peter did his best not to smile at how adorable it was. “I’m sorry I took so long,” Johnny said, “There were issues with the ship, and then we had to deal with hostiles, and the cell service in that part of space was essentially non-existent. Not that it mattered after the first week because Ben accidentally smashed my phone,” he paused and took a breath. “I’m sorry babe. But we did what we had to do, I’m back for real this time,” he kissed Peter lightly, “so please try not to be too mad”.

Peter shook his head “As hard as I try, I can never stay mad at you”.

He went in for another kiss. When they broke apart this time they were both smiling like idiots and Peter felt a few tears forming in his eyes. Johnny hugged him tightly. When he let go Peter put his hands on Johnny’s checks and looked straight into his vibrant blue eyes. 

“You’re not allowed to leave again, okay? I need you, so much. I love you too much. You can’t leave. I don’t know how to function without you,” Peter confessed. 

“That’s true,” MJ’s voice broke into their bubble, “he was a complete and total wreck”.

“MJ!” Peter whined, putting his head against Johnny’s chest in defeat. He could feel Johnny laughing at his frustration. Stupid supermodels. 

“Can’t deny the facts, Tiger. See you later lovebirds,” she waved and walked away. 

“Thanks, MJ!” Johnny shouted after her, she shrugged her shoulders and waved him off in response. “Well,” Johnny started, “I was gonna buy you coffee but MJ beat me to it”.

“I was promised kisses, Storm. You better deliver,” Peter retorted. 

“Hmmm, is that so?” Johnny said, “Race you to your apartment?”

Peter stepped back, “Just because I missed you doesn’t mean I’m not gonna kick your ass”.

“Leave my ass alone,” Johnny mockingly protested. 

“Those are words I never thought I’d heard you say,” Peter replied. 

“Are we racing or not?” Johnny crossed his arms. 

“You’re on,” Peter kissed his cheek and took off running, he heard Johnny protesting as he ran to catch up. He laughed the whole way to his apartment and laughed again when Johnny kissed him against his door. Johnny was back and he was unbelievably happy. 

“I missed you,” Peter said. He kissed Johnny slowly as they lay in bed hours later. 

Johnny pulled him closer as he kissed him back, “I missed you too, love”.

And I miss my lover

MJ and Peter were getting their usual Friday coffee. Peter’s advanced physics class had been canceled so they decided to walk around campus together until MJ had to go. The weather was perfect, which was great after almost a week of rain that MJ had jokingly said was a reflection of his mood. 

MJ stopped suddenly, “Crap”.

“What?” Peter asked, turning to face her. 

“I left my phone at the coffee place, can we go back?”

“Yeah of course,” he started walking back the way they came but MJ wasn’t following. He gave her a confused look. 

“Let’s go the other way. It’ll be good for you to walk through a different part of campus. Can’t spend all your time near the labs”.

“That was uncalled for,” Peter complained. 

“Oh well,” MJ started walking away from him and Peter ran to catch up. 

They were about halfway back to the coffee shop, cutting through a park-like area near the art buildings when Peter was the one to stop in his tracks. He looked across the field at someone leaning against a lamppost. He practically glowed in the sunlight, although that could’ve just been Peter’s imagination. He looked up and saw Peter. A huge smile spread across his face. 

“Go to him you idiot,” MJ said, shoving his arm. She seemed very proud of herself as she watched him walk away. 

They walked towards each other, Peter barely processed anything that was happening. They stopped with only about a foot between them. Peter looked at the person who stood before him, not entirely believing his eyes. 

“Is it really you? Are you real?” he asked quietly. 

“Yeah Web-Head, it’s me,” Johnny replied, smiling ear to ear. 

That’s all that Peter needed to hear. He closed the space between them instantly. Peter threw his arms around Johnny’s neck and kissed him with everything he had. Johnny laughed into the kiss before kissing Peter with the same emotion. The kiss was perfect, not a single person could dent that. When Peter ended the kiss he stepped back and smacked Johnny’s arm. 

“Ow!” Johnny complained. He rubbed his arm and gave Peter a dirty look. “What was that for?”

“You told me you’d be back in a few days, and then I didn’t hear from you for almost a month,” he smacked Johnny’s other arm. 

“Hey!” Johnny pouted and Peter did his best not to smile at how adorable it was. “I’m sorry I took so long,” Johnny said, “There were issues with the ship, and then we had to deal with hostiles, and the cell service in that part of space was essentially non-existent. Not that it mattered after the first week because Ben accidentally smashed my phone,” he paused and took a breath. “I’m sorry babe. But we did what we had to do, I’m back for real this time,” he kissed Peter lightly, “so please try not to be too mad”.

Peter shook his head “As hard as I try, I can never stay mad at you”.

He went in for another kiss. When they broke apart this time they were both smiling like idiots and Peter felt a few tears forming in his eyes. Johnny hugged him tightly. When he let go Peter put his hands on Johnny’s checks and looked straight into his vibrant blue eyes. 

“You’re not allowed to leave again, okay? I need you, so much. I love you too much. You can’t leave. I don’t know how to function without you,” Peter confessed. 

“That’s true,” MJ’s voice broke into their bubble, “he was a complete and total wreck”.

“MJ!” Peter whined, putting his head against Johnny’s chest in defeat. He could feel Johnny laughing at his frustration. Stupid supermodels. 

“Can’t deny the facts, Tiger. See you later lovebirds,” she waved and walked away. 

“Thanks, MJ!” Johnny shouted after her, she shrugged her shoulders and waved him off in response. “Well,” Johnny started, “I was gonna buy you coffee but MJ beat me to it”.

“I was promised kisses, Storm. You better deliver,” Peter retorted. 

“Hmmm, is that so?” Johnny said, “Race you to your apartment?”

Peter stepped back, “Just because I missed you doesn’t mean I’m not gonna kick your ass”.

“Leave my ass alone,” Johnny mockingly protested. 

“Those are words I never thought I’d heard you say,” Peter replied. 

“Are we racing or not?” Johnny crossed his arms. 

“You’re on,” Peter kissed his cheek and took off running, he heard Johnny protesting as he ran to catch up. He laughed the whole way to his apartment and laughed again when Johnny kissed him against his door. Johnny was back and he was unbelievably happy. 

“I missed you,” Peter said. He kissed Johnny slowly as they lay in bed hours later. 

Johnny pulled him closer as he kissed him back, “I missed you too, love”.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fic I’ve ever written so hopefully it’s not garbage. I will happy to know it made even one person happy. Spideytorch is the best. Hope you have a wonderful day!


End file.
